WORKOUT and WORK..
This is going to be quick cause Im not in a bloggy mood but I finally went to the gym today. I got my self working out. I hope to keep it going. I know if I see results it’ll become something worth doing. We shall see. I promptly ruined all that I did by coming home and eating pizza ha. That makes sense eh? Oh well.
I also got some not good news. I guess my grandma has cancer now 
I swear if it’s not one thing it’s another, and people wonder why I’m always close to the edge.
I really want to stop working for a little while to get myself “back” together. I’m a mess in every way right now. Emotionally, physically and everything in-between. I’m doing my best to just maintain sanity but. I do admit it’s becoming harder and harder. I have no desire to be at work or to even deal with it anymore. I missed all last week due to me feeling like crap with the panic attacks. I never heard back from them about it all. I left them a few messages. I’m sure they aren’t/weren’t happy. I guess we shall see tomorrow. I’m thinking I’m going to give them my 2 weeks notice tomorrow. I mean I hate to give up my job, but I know I’m not right and I need some time to get myself back together and straight. Ive totally fallen off spiritually and I feel so empty. That’s my life and that’s what keeps me going. Being able to teach and learn about the bible is what kept me right, through all the drama and now I don’t even have that. I’m lost, completely. See people fail to understand how much of my life it takes up. All the studying and time I have to put into it. It’s been my goal since day one to make that my REAL career and I’m not doing that and anyone who REALLY knows me, knows I’m not the person I was even just a few months ago and to me that’s scary. To not have a “relationship” with my GOD to me… is just down right scary!
I need to do something. I’m not sure if it’s the right thing though… sigh…
to me, when dad put the gym in downstairs, it was such a novelty. i used it everday for like a week and then i couldn’t be bothered anymore! hahahaha. don’t you hate that!
i feel like pizza now…
aww, i know how you feel hey. well, i hope you are feeling heapsss better soon! :] SMILE!
xoxo
awww sweetie. sorry to hear about your grandma. curse on you cancer +( I wish you and your family the best. I totally know how to live on the edge. Until my mom gets her kidney I live at the edge everyday. I installed it. The trillion. I’m going to see if it works. lol. but any hoots. i’ma find a way to chit chat* heee.
hi hunn. how are yah? … well, obviously you’re not too good. =( sorrie! but uhm, if you feel like that all the time, why don’t u talk to somebody who could help you out? somebody you can trust so you can vent out everything that you feel. but please don’t do something stupid. i’ve been through that situation before and i did something that i regret big time. so you be careful.
as for your gramma, you gotta be strong for her! don’t let her see the emotions you have.. it’ll make her weaker. as for my gramma, i will finally get to see her again after 7 long years! =] she’s got cancer too, but she’s staying strong. she’s holding on.
anyhoo, about that gym thing, maybe that’s a good idea to take your mind off of things for a lil while. keep it up! and maybe, ask a friend to go with you, it’s way more fun if you do it with somebody u know.
take care! and i miss your blog!
oH sweety im so sorry to hear all of this is happening to you.I know the empty feeling.i went trough a bad time in my life and quit all of my past jobs because of it.dont do it, especially if you need the job your going to regret it later.Just keep praying and you will be pulled through all of this darkness,Its going to be alright.
I’m so sorry about your grandmother. It is always hard to hear such news.
As for the job - it sounds like you have given it lots of thought and time and space to be and do what you want is most important. If your bible work is what makes you happy and fulfilled then you need to concentrate on that.
I will email you soon. I’ve been trying to catch up on some work.
That’s awesome about going to the gym, though! I haven’t had pizza in a loooong while! =( I’m craving some! =(
I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother… =(
*hugs* Good luck getting through this tough time… I know how hard it is to go through something tough…
Hun, sorry for not being active. Loving the new layout - it’s fab!
I’ve been really busy with offline life. I even bought a snowboard today, so most weekends will go to snowboarding i guess : ) Hope you’re all great !
bye : )